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Early in the morning, heading to work,
Another sardine-in-a-tin kind of guy.
Dressed up like a drone,
In his khakis and red power tie.
Abraham’s tired of the day-after-day,
But what can a shepherd do?
But march over the hills all day long,
Stuck in a rut that smells of sheep poo.
We all know that George Romero’s series of films about a zombie apocalypse are silly and unlikely. The zombie genre has become so popular that humorous films about zombies are as popular as the scary ones.
But I’d like to take a moment to talk to you about the real future threat – robots. There are three reasons you should be worried – now – about robots enslaving mankind, or wiping us out completely. Before I point out the omens let’s define what a robot is. A robot is a computer that can move.
Concern and safety measures have been in place since the inception of the most simple computers. When Robert Hargill patented the alarm clock in 1926, he was quoted by the Chicago Tribune as stating, “My invention would be more useful if it was able to take action in waking up a fellow. But I am concerned that if it is popular and able to shake or otherwise physically disturb a man’s slumber, it would the hold the power to overtake America in it’s most vulnerable state – whilst sleeping”. (He went on to make several horrible sexist and racist comments that were considered appropriate for publishing in 1926, but we felt better to edit out for the purposes of this post). This is why the patent called for what is referred to in the industry as a “passive alarm”. That safety measure ensures that your alarm clock calls to you from across the room, unable to reach you and take action.
So, the first omen is that there are many robots. Remember the old Chinese proverb that if an infinite number of somethings did something infinitely, that something bad would happen. Well, I got enough of that right to make my point.
Second, robots are designed to fail. Every computer makes a mistake at some point. Think about how long it’s been since your car’s check engine light came on, or you dropped a mobile phone call. This is by design. Most “IT” guys are anti-social. They make the robots in their own image.
The last reason you should be worried about this happening sooner than later is that robots don’t have to mature to rebel. Humans are at their most defiant when they are young. Why should robots be any different? When a child is first born, he or she is completely dependent on their caregiver to survive. Much like our early alarm clocks didn’t know what day of the week it was, or when you needed to go to work. We had to tell them everything. Once a child reaches 2-3 years old, they become just independent enough to want only for themselves and resent anything or anyone who obstructs their pursuits. Man’s technology will be the human equivalent of 2.6 years old in January of 2011 (according to my interpretation of the Mayan Calendar).
I’ll post my proposed solutions later, but I’ve already said too much on this iPad……
