Scareology and the Science of Fright
An exchange student has recently come to live with us, and has brought along their fascination of American horror films. Personally, I do not watch horror films. I do not watch them professionally either. However, my awareness of these superstitions has been renewed and I would like to share my expertise on this subject with you.
First of all, ghosts are real. Do not confuse the reality of something with it’s existence. Ghosts do not exist. There is such a thing as ghosts, if you can understand that the reality of something is based wholly and completely on your reaction to it. For example, a car is real if I can see it and I can touch it. The car itself does not do anything to make me see it, neither does it make me touch it. The reality of the car is true because of my reaction to it. In the car example, however, the car also exists. Let’s use a better example.
The television show that you watch (probably on your laptop or iphone and not on the TV at all) is only real because you see it. This is your reaction to the show. But the show itself does not exist. The actors, the locations, none of them actually exist. But the reality of the show is still there for you. You can watch a movie with Brad Pitt or listen to a TV show with Conan Obrien, and they are real. But neither of these persons actually exist.
In the same way, if you hear a ghost or catch a glimpse of a ghost then the ghost is real (although there is no such thing and they don’t actually exist). In these instances, when you have encountered a real ghost, you should do one of the following things:
1) Hide.
2) Run.
Choose option one only if the ghost has not seen you. You should only hide if you are reasonably sure that the ghost is on it’s way somewhere else and there are no other ghosts in the area which might stumble upon you. In a graveyard you should not choose option one. There are too many other ghosts that are likely to wander upon you in your hiding spot. In a haunted house situation it depends. The older the house is, the more likely that multiple ghosts have accumulated.
Choose option two if you have been spotted or are outnumbered. When you run, be sure to run toward a safe place. A safe place has one of the following:
1. Adequate lighting
2. Zombies (I’ll explain this later)
3. Ghost busters / hunters
4. Daytime
Be sure that your decision is not based on your emotional reaction, but what is the best choice for your current circumstances. If you’re a hider, there will be times that you should run and vice versa. Making an informed decision is an important part of properly handling a ghost encounter.
Remember – ghosts are absolutely real. If you think you saw one, you will be scared. Being scared is the reality of the situation. There are well-education professionals who study the science of real. They are called “Realtors.” Since being an expert in reality doesn’t pay much, they usually sell houses and properties. This also allows them to stay close to spirits and haunts. If you have a question about ghosts and if they are real or not just ask a Realtor.
Finally, ghosts do not exist. There is no such thing. There are well-education experts on this matter as well. People who are highly qualified to speak on matters of existence are called “Astronauts.” But only the ones who have been to the moon. The others have just floated around in space for not much of anything at all.
Best of luck on your next horribly frightening and really scary – although not at all actual – ghost encounter.
