Who is Dead Pocket?
Co-Founder / Monarch of Mystery
[Alex refused to comment on his own bio.]
Alexander Crowdaveer Vulturatine Turk III is a thinking man’s thought and a incorporeal philosopher. Even to close friends, he is a mystery, disappearing for stretches of time so often that at least two of us question whether he actually exists at all.
A. Turk co-founded the Dead Pocket Station in 1997 with pop-culture hairstylist and part-time poet, Kurt Axelron. The two formed the now-famous Dead Pocket Society, which (years later) spawned The Dead Pocket Station.
“Apparently, everyone wants to be a ninja.” – A. Turk
Co-Founder / Baron Von Cheese Sandwich
I owned a hair salon in the 90s. I had a trained chimp that shampooed customers. I write poetry, prefer isolation, eat a lot of cheese sandwiches, work in IT for a manure transport and fertilizer supply company, and generally stay hidden.
I’m also known as Director of Operatic Movements, Reassembler Extraordinaire, Computer Guru, Gadget Guy, The Guy Who Always Has Spare Change To Loan, and Executioner of Dethroned Executives.
“It’s not like anyone writes this stuff down.” – Kurt A.
Curator / Creative Czar
80% of what Will says is fiction, 20% of what he says is fact. He is not the mastermind behind the Dead Pocket Station. If questioned about its existence, he will deny that he’s ever heard of, “…What did you say? The Dead Pocket Statehood? Nope. I don’t know a thing about that.”
Will makes strange animal sounds when he sleeps. When the weather is exceptionally cold, he sounds like a badger. In tropic weather he hoots like an owl.
Will has vowed never to appear on a reality TV show, and he lives his life based on this personal motto: “I didn’t say that, did I?”
“Without the insane, we’d all seem crazy.” – Will Wood
“What’s in a name?” Juliet asked.
You might have wondered why Dead Pocket is called “Dead Pocket.” You might not have wondered at all, assuming that it made as much sense as everything we’ve seen and heard about Dead Pocket. But, then again, you might have wondered. If you have, I’ll dispel the mystery here.
Dead can mean (among other things): Deprived of life, having the appearance of death, incapable of being stirred emotionally or intellectually, no longer producing or functioning, lacking power or effect, no longer having interest, no longer relevant or significant, no longer in use, certain to be doomed, incapable of being effective…
Pocket is usually thought of as (among other things): A small bag that is sewed or inserted in a garment so that it is open at the top or side, a superficial pouch in some animals, a small isolated area or group, a cavity containing a deposit, or just a “pouch.”
So, it could be that Dead Pocket represents a small place where things are placed that have little-or-no significance. Or it could be where a kangaroo keeps her cadavers. I like the first explanation.
I hope this unsolicited answer helps.
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No one knows where to find the Screamaloterous. It’s been said that it lives on the Island of Terrible Sounds, but no one on the island has ever seen it. Well, no one but a nine-year-old named Pete.
Pete befriended the Screamaloterous while his family was on vacation on the island. While his parents were shopping in one of the island’s seventeen gift shops, Pete wandered into the Wailing Forest to find a stick that he could fashion into a spear. The Screamaloterous jumped from behind a bush and presented its most frightful face. Pete laughed. The two were soon best friends.
Pete told his parents that the Screamaloterous is 325-years-old, prefers to breathe salty air, sleeps standing on his head, speaks only in screams, and has a fondness for beef jerky. Pete also shared that In its spare time, the Screamaloterous writes a popular salad dressing blog under the name, David Duchovny.
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